my mom

my mom
a picture of my mother first diagnosed in 2000

Saturday, December 18, 2010

History

Let me start by saying that I started this blog because I want to save my mother's life. I need to save her life. My mother was first diagnosed December 25, 2010. I thank God and Dr. Melnik for saving her life that day. We have been fortunate and very blessed to have had some of the world's best doctors in my opinion. They are part of the reason she is alive today. I admit I'm not the one to show emotion around her. Lord knows my mother and I argue that I should express my feelings, cry, scream, etc when her condition doesn't get better. This coming from a person who doesn't like to show how much she's suffering inside, always the tough attitude. You know what they say like mother like daughter. I am definately my mother's daughter. And Lord knows she will kill me for writing this blog, but I guess I'll deal with it when the time comes or until she finds out about this blog. But the bottom line is that I love my momma. I am I guess like most kids, we take our parents for granted, never give them their due justice, and believe they will always be there for us. I guess yesterday was my final straw. I called my mother to tell her I was coming by to visit and the sound of her voice scared me. I have never heard my mother in so much pain two days after chemotherapy. Her moans of pain gave me a heavy dose of reality. It was time to face the truth that I had been running away from. She's sick and I can't do anything to help. The feeling of helpless didn't sit right in my stomach. I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just sit there and pretend everything will be alright. Not after seeing her the way I did last night. My mother calls it hibernation to get ready for the Christmas party. I call it, something is not right and something needs to be done. Thanks to technology, I googled on my phone all night looking for ideas. Then I remembered my coworker's ex husband has lukemia and got stem cell replacement and it's working. So I thought why not? I researched all night for stem cell research and ovarian cancer. I realized is soooo much being done to help find a way to stop ovarian cancer. And then I thought, could it be possible since I have a similar DNA pattern to my mother, could I give up some of my stem cells to help repair her damaged cells? Yale University has been doing a lot of ground breaking discoveries with stem cells and ovarian cancer. They may have discovered what causes the cancerous cells to massively reproduce and return. Two kinds of proteins produced. The lightbulb went on inside my head, why can't my mother and I be test subjects. If they take that knowledge and stop it, could my stems cells help produce clean and cancerous free cells. I realize there may be more complexities, but the point is, is it possible? Most would say just be there for her, be supportive, that's all you can do. I don't accept that. Granted this may sound crazy, but honestly, what would any of us do? What would you do if your mother was sick and there was no cure? Would you give up? Or would you fight? If there was an opportunity to save her life would you do it? What would any of us do to save our mother's life? The way I look at it is this, my mother has always been there for me. When I went to the Army, she put up yellow ribbons on every tree on our street to show her hope and love for me while I was away. She didn't have to do that. She chose to do that. As I'm choosing to do this for her. As long as there is hope, I will continue to fight alongside my mother until her heart stops beating.

P.S. I will post up the articles I have found so far soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment