my mom

my mom
a picture of my mother first diagnosed in 2000

Friday, April 8, 2011

Without her...?

I know God put us on this Earth for a purpose and just as quickly as we come into the world we are taken. When I think about grandparents I picture them being really old, which is why I struggle with death. I cant accept that my mother will die. I wish God would let me be selfish for once and give my mom life for 50 more years. Why is it hard for us to accept death? I spent time with my mother yesterday... it was a good day. She was her usual happy self and it made me happy to see her in good spirits. But driving home on the freeway I began to break down and cry. I hate feeling vulnerable and fragile. It makes me hate the people who have mothers and take them for granted. We simply dont realize how much they are worth. I realized this last night... or should I say it reality hit me hard last night. I realized how I never took the time to get to know my mother. I didnt know who she really is... or goals she wanted to achieve... or the dreams she gave up for us. I didnt know her story. Realizing this hurt because I cant make up for lost time. So here I sit, feeling like the sand is running out because only God knows his plan for us. I hope who ever reads this blog realizes how lucky they are to have thier mom in his or her life. Cherish each moment and stop to think about what life would really be like without her...?

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